Good Signs

I've been teaching Sarah to sign.  I started with "more" in China, but it was hard to do when I was holding her while feeding.  I tried again a couple of weeks ago when she was in the highchair, and she picked it up right away.  Since then, she's learned "milk," "eat," "Daddy," "dog," and "all done."  She doesn't have perfect form yet, but she gets her message across.  She enjoys being able to communicate and looks to me often to see if I'm going to show her a sign.  We've been watching a signing DVD every day (her only "screen time"), and she loves it.

Sleep continues to be a challenge, but we've made some progress.  She wakes throughout the night, but she's starting to soothe herself back to sleep.  Last night, I didn't have to get up at all, just reassured her from across the room.  She also sleeps more peacefully; I don't see the grimaces and whimpering I used to.  She fights going to sleep, but she lets me rock her much longer and doesn't immediately reach for the crib after her bottle.

If we're going to have a problem, I'll take sleep over attachment.  We've been very lucky there.  From the beginning, Sarah has gone to both of us willingly and protested when we're out of sight.  She has always made good eye contact and now holds a gaze for almost as long as I can.  Many adoptees have learned that the only people they can count on are themselves and act independently of their adoptive parents at first.  We knew we had an advantage when we learned that Sarah was in foster care, and she has obviously transferred her trust from her foster mom to us.  She's become very affectionate, giving us kisses and hugs.  She is a sweet, happy little girl.

Although I have loved her from the day we met and she accepted me from the start, it's only been the last couple of days that I've started to feel "in sync" with her.  She smiles and gives me a kiss every morning when she wakes.  She asks for a goodnight kiss when I lay her down at night, and she lets me "sway" her back to sleep in the night.  She relaxes into my body when I hold her and pats me on the back.  Whereas biological mothers and children have nine months to get know each other even before birth, adoptive moms and kids start out as strangers.  Like a new couple, they test the waters and gradually develop confidence that they can meet each others' needs.  It's such a good feeling to know that Sarah and I are on our way.

We went to a nearby state park for a hike on Wednesday (it's wonderful to have such flexibility).  Sarah rode in the backpack for the first time and loved it.  She wanted me to hike up front, though, so she could keep an eye on me. :)