The last time I wrote about our slumber struggles, I was sleeping with Sarah most of the night and she was fighting naps. I'm happy to report that I am now in my own bed most nights, and, after two straight weeks of no naps, Sarah has succombed yesterday and today (How else would I be able to write this?). It's been a long, trying couple of weeks (a two-year-old that's been up for 8 hours is no fun, let alone 14), but I don't think we could have made the progress we have without that pain.
Once Sarah decided not to nap, or even stay in bed to rest, I took advantage of her exhaustion at the end of the day and started putting her to bed and leaving the room instead of staying with her until she was asleep. The advice I'd read said when the child gets up to lead her back to bed quietly and calmly; she'll do this a few times then give up because it's not any fun. They don't know Sarah.
The first night, I walked her back to her room 28 times before she finally lacked the strength to get back up and promptly passed out. The second night, she made the trip 65 times before succombing. I'm not kidding. The third night, we were at 33 when I realized that she thought this was just a new way of going to bed -- walk until you collapse. At that point, I put her in bed and told her if she got up again, I'd close the door. She got up once more, and I held the doorknob. I let her scream for a minute then put her back in bed and left. She was asleep in about two minutes.
Since then, I've put her to bed and told her to stay there or I'll close the door. She usually gets up once a night, but once the door gets closed, she gets the message and is snoozing in a few minutes. It's pure bliss for Mom. Since she now goes to bed alone, she has also remembered how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes at night. I had to let her cry for a few minutes a couple of nights (after tucking her back in), but she now goes back to sleep on her own and I return to my bed. Hallelujah!
While no naps made the bedtime transition easier, it took a toll on all of us. Sarah has been sleep-deprived and extremely difficult. She wasn't sleeping any longer at night, so she was getting only 9-10 hours of sleep a day, when she should get about 13. I scoured the Internet for ideas to help, but nothing worked. I finally decided to try a sticker chart, since it was a big hit with potty training.
Sarah doesn't respond that well to discipline (can you say, "stubborn"?), but she likes incentive programs. When we started potty training a few weeks ago, we weren't having any luck getting her to poop in the potty, until we offered two M&Ms as a reward. She now goes multiple times a day. I swear she plans for the maximum candy haul.
For "Project Nap," I drew a chart made of 10 steps, like a staircase, and numbered the steps. I bought some Elmo stickers (Sarah loves Elmo, although she has never watched him on TV -- what does that say about the power of marketing?) and told her she would get a sticker every day. When she gets five stickers (five steps), she'll get a new can of Play-Doh. Five more, another can, etc.
My original plan was to get her to just stay in bed for a minute, then add to the time each day until she was lying down for 30 minutes. I figured if she could lie still that long, she'd likely fall asleep. That plan blew up in my face the first day, when she refused to stay in bed even for a second. To say I was discouraged is an understatement. She still wanted her sticker, though. I don't think she understood the deal.
Back to the drawing board, and the Internet for more ideas. Yesterday, I got into bed with Sarah and read books for a few minutes, then got her to lie down with me (even that was a struggle). I sang our bedtime song (
My Favorite Things) over and over while she thrashed around fighting sleep, as usual. Finally, after 15 minutes, and who-knows-how-many refrains, she closed her eyes and was asleep soon after.
When she got up 90 minutes later, I made a big deal out of giving her the sticker. She was thrilled but then asked for the Play-Doh. I explained that she needed to take four more naps and get four more stickers to get the Play-Doh. She seemed to understand and proceeded to explain the whole deal to Dada when he came upstairs.
So, today we headed to bed, covered ourselves up with her comforter, and read some books. When we were done, she balked a bit at lying down, but when I reminded her of the pay-off, she grabbed her stuffed dog and lay with me while I sang. She was asleep in about five minutes! I've learned not to proclaim victory too soon when it comes to Sarah, but, boy, am I hopeful. Once she commits to something, there's little that can stop her. My next challenge is getting her to sleep past 5:30 a.m....
