Thanks, Mom and Heather!

My mom and sister left on Wednesday, and we're back to our nuclear threesome.  We all enjoyed their visit.  Sarah really warmed up to Grammy by the last couple of days and let Grammy hold her hands while she stood.  I think she might have let Grammy hold her, if we had allowed it.  We're being careful to follow the advice of the doctor at the International Adoption Clinic in Minneapolis and not let anyone but Don and me hold her for four-six months to promote attachment.  I know it's hard on the grandmothers.  I'm considering compromising just a bit and letting Mom hold her when we visit at Thanksgiving, since it will have been almost four months. 

Sarah was a little tougher on Auntie Heather and made her keep her distance.  She was fascinated and entertained by Heather but wouldn't let her touch her.  She enjoyed Heather's renditions of goofy '40s tunes and Elvis classics when they were riding in the backseat together, but she was happier when I sat between them. 

Mom, Heather, and I ventured to Winona while Sarah napped on Tuesday.  Mom had lunch with an old friend, and Heather and I ate a block away.  It was fun to spend time alone with Heather, which rarely happens.  It was also wonderful to be able to talk with her "mother-to-mother" (finally!).  We agreed that we wouldn't want to be anything else and are fortunate to be home full-time with our kids.  We enjoy the challenges of keeping a home together and tending to the needs of little ones.  There's nothing more meaningful for us.

I know it was a big sacrifice for both of them to travel all the way to see us, and I'm grateful that they made the effort to meet Sarah.  I think it will make our visit to Massachusetts much easier for her now that she knows them.  Meeting her three crazy cousins and two uncles for the first time will be enough excitement, I think.  :)

Note:  For those wondering how I've found time to write three posts today, I'll explain.  The first, of course, was with Sarah asleep in the carrier.  The last two have been while Don has taken Sarah for a ride to try to cheer her up.  They've been scoping out waterfowl hunting spots, I think.  It's the first time I've been alone in the house since we got back from China, and it's been VERY quiet.  Fortunately, they just pulled into the garage.  :)

My Beautiful Daughter

A few weeks ago, our minister asked us to pose for a photo to be used on the cover of our church's stewardship brochure.  A church member who is a professional photographer took the shot of Don and me holding Sarah with the minister appearing to baptize her.  While we were there, I asked if he'd take a few shots of Sarah alone.  She was less than pleased with the whole situation, but he managed to get this adorable portrait.  Oh, and we're now "the faces" of our church.  Wouldn't Nana be proud?

Rainy Day, Inside and Out

It's a cold, rainy, fall day -- miserable outside and not  much sunnier inside.  Sarah is uncharacteristically crabby.  Although she's had a few good nights of sleeping, last night was bumpy again.  She couldn't seem to get comfortable and ended up crying uncontrollably around midnight. 

This morning, she was whiny and wanted to be held.  So, I strapped on the Ergo carrier, put on Jack Johnson's CD of songs from the Curious George movie (which I LOVE -- thank you, Cindy!), and danced with her while feeding her Bunny Grahams.  She lasted about 15 minutes then fell asleep before she could deliver the next bunny to her mouth.  She's now snoozing away on my chest.  It's enough to break your heart.  :)  It reminds me of our time in China.

I'm feeling blessed to be able to adjust my day to accommodate Sarah's needs.  What a gift to just stop what I was doing and tend to her.  I find comforting her immensely soothing.  I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

A Visit from Grammy and Auntie Heather

My mom and sister arrived from Massachusetts on Friday for a five-day visit.  Sarah has been enjoying her new audience and regaling them with her antics.  She's happy to entertain them as long as Don or I is close by but doesn't want to be left alone with them or have them touch her...a good sign in terms of attachment.  Although we felt she was attaching well to us, it's good to have this confirmation, since we haven't had many people around to see what her response would be.

Yesterday, we set out to find pumpkins for the yard (since our efforts at growing our own this year produced about five, all of which quickly rotted).  We visited a pick-your-own operation, and Sarah thoroughly enjoyed sharing the wheel barrow with our pickings.  As you can see, she's taken fashion cues from both Dad and Mom, opting for a hooded sweatshirt and LLBean field coat....

This morning, she enjoyed seeing photos of her cousins on Auntie Heather's camera....

She put on quite a show rolling around in the papasan chair before dinner this evening.  I'm hoping she wore herself out and will sleep soundly (in contrast to last night, when she was awake six times).  She almost slept through the night the night before Mom and Heather arrived.  I'm afraid all the excitement has derailed her once again.  Oh, well, at least we know a restful night is within the realm of possibilities.  Maybe once they've left, she'll be able to slay her sleep demons.

The Remarkable Red Thread

More than three years ago, soon after our paperwork went to China, a woman tried to create a network of families with children from China in our area.  There were about 10 families who either had children or were waiting to adopt, and they got together for a picnic.  We had another engagement and couldn't go, but I was excited that there would be an opportunity for Sarah to socialize with other Chinese girls when she arrived.

That was the last I heard from the group.  Apparently, people were too busy or weren't motivated to continue.  Sunday, I decided to send an email to the list of folks who had been involved to see if anyone has a daughter around Sarah's age.  That evening, I got a message back from a woman who lives about 15 miles from us.  She and her husband are in China right now getting their one-year-old daughter, who happens to be from the same province as Sarah!  What wonderful luck (or is it the Red Thread that Chinese lore says binds all those who are meant to be together?). 

Of course, it will probably be after Christmas before this family is ready to get together, but it warms my heart to know that Sarah will have a little friend who has experienced the same thing she has.  There is such comfort in knowing someone who understands what you're going through, and I really hope for that for her.

Sarah's Crawling!

And she did it after possibly her worst night of sleep ever...which means it was one of my worst nights of sleep...which means I was back in bed when she did it. Arghh!! She was kind enough to stage a repeat performance once I was up, however.

Good Signs

I've been teaching Sarah to sign.  I started with "more" in China, but it was hard to do when I was holding her while feeding.  I tried again a couple of weeks ago when she was in the highchair, and she picked it up right away.  Since then, she's learned "milk," "eat," "Daddy," "dog," and "all done."  She doesn't have perfect form yet, but she gets her message across.  She enjoys being able to communicate and looks to me often to see if I'm going to show her a sign.  We've been watching a signing DVD every day (her only "screen time"), and she loves it.

Sleep continues to be a challenge, but we've made some progress.  She wakes throughout the night, but she's starting to soothe herself back to sleep.  Last night, I didn't have to get up at all, just reassured her from across the room.  She also sleeps more peacefully; I don't see the grimaces and whimpering I used to.  She fights going to sleep, but she lets me rock her much longer and doesn't immediately reach for the crib after her bottle.

If we're going to have a problem, I'll take sleep over attachment.  We've been very lucky there.  From the beginning, Sarah has gone to both of us willingly and protested when we're out of sight.  She has always made good eye contact and now holds a gaze for almost as long as I can.  Many adoptees have learned that the only people they can count on are themselves and act independently of their adoptive parents at first.  We knew we had an advantage when we learned that Sarah was in foster care, and she has obviously transferred her trust from her foster mom to us.  She's become very affectionate, giving us kisses and hugs.  She is a sweet, happy little girl.

Although I have loved her from the day we met and she accepted me from the start, it's only been the last couple of days that I've started to feel "in sync" with her.  She smiles and gives me a kiss every morning when she wakes.  She asks for a goodnight kiss when I lay her down at night, and she lets me "sway" her back to sleep in the night.  She relaxes into my body when I hold her and pats me on the back.  Whereas biological mothers and children have nine months to get know each other even before birth, adoptive moms and kids start out as strangers.  Like a new couple, they test the waters and gradually develop confidence that they can meet each others' needs.  It's such a good feeling to know that Sarah and I are on our way.

We went to a nearby state park for a hike on Wednesday (it's wonderful to have such flexibility).  Sarah rode in the backpack for the first time and loved it.  She wanted me to hike up front, though, so she could keep an eye on me. :)