A Taste of Single Motherhood

I've always been in awe of single parents, wondering how they manage to take care of children and themselves with only 24 hours in a day.  My thoughts have always focused on the physical and financial burdens, though (feeding, bathing, dressing, working, paying for clothes and college).  With Don gone for a few days, however, I'm realizing how tough it must be emotionally, too.  It's scary being the only grown-up in the house and knowing that the buck stops with you.

I've spent a lot of time on my own, both pre- and post-Don, but I rarely felt lonely because I've always been good at entertaining myself.  When he left Sunday, however, I suddenly felt alone, with my responsibility for Sarah resting squarely on my shoulders.  How ironic that, when I actually have company while he's gone, I feel more lonely than before!

Although I like to believe I've never taken him for granted, I realize how much I depend on Don for co-parenting.  Of course, we've made decisions about Sarah together from the start, but it hadn't occurred to me how many little choices pop up in a typical day and how comforting it is to have another's input.  With Sarah's current sleep problems, it's up to me to decide what to do when she's screaming in the middle of the night -- do I go in, or do I let her cry?  There's no checking in with Don for a second opinion.

Perhaps most surprising is my heightened concern for security.  I rarely thought about intruders when home alone in the past.  Since Sunday, I've been aware of every strange sound and had scary scenarios running through my head.  I'm focused on someone else's safety, not mine, which is new territory for me.

Being the sole parent is lonely in ways I never appreciated before.  I salute single moms and dads everywhere, and I can't wait for Don to come home Wednesday night!