First Day of School

Monday was the first day of school...for me!  I started the masters program in counselor education at W*nona State University.  If all goes according to plan, I'll finish my degree in three years and get a job as a school counselor in an elementary school in B*rlington, Vermont (how's that for specifics?).  I would love to be back in N*w England near my family, and I think Lake Ch*mplain just might be a good enough substitute for W*nnie in Don's eyes.

I'm taking two courses this fall:  Special Education of Children and Youth with Exceptionalities, and Foundations of Counseling.  The classes meet Monday and Tuesday evenings, respectively.  I also have to volunteer at an afterschool childcare facility on Monday afternoons.  Not a bad schedule for a commuting student (it's a 30-minute drive to W*nona).  I plan to take two courses a semester for the first two years, then go full-time once Sarah is in first grade.

The first week was a bit overwhelming, but I think things will settle out okay.  I've adjusted my schedule to fit in some study time before Don and I switch shifts with Sarah mid-morning.  I figure, if I'm disciplined, I can get in my walk, breakfast, wake-up time with Sarah, a shower, and a couple of hours of schoolwork before 10:00.  The best I've done so far is about an hour and half of studying.

It would help if Sarah woke up at the same time every morning.  I've been trying to get her to stay in her room until 7:00, but when she wakes up before 6:00, that's a long haul.  Sarah and sleep -- the never-ending saga.  Even though she's no longer napping, she will still be up and ready for the day after only 10 hours in bed.  Of course, she's pretty beat by dinner.

Don now handles bedtime on Mondays and Tuesdays.  Sarah tells him what to do and is accurate with most of the steps, I think, although I know she takes liberties with some details.  So far, she won't let him kiss her goodnight when I'm gone.  She says, "Mama will kiss me when I'm asleep."

I'm excited about this new undertaking but a little sad about giving up the freedom I've enjoyed for the past four-and-a-half years.  I'm anxious about missing time with Sarah, but I know that I'm still more fortunate than many moms when it comes to being at home (and leaving her with her dad when I'm not).  I think that my new career will complement my personal life and make me a better parent.  Once I'm working, Sarah and I should have very similar schedules.

I'm afraid my schoolwork will also cut into my blogging time.  I'll try to keep up with the Wonderful World of Sarah, but I may rely more on images than narrative.  Maybe that's not such a bad thing....

Winnie 2011

We're nearing the end of our annual week-long "vacation" at B*wen Lodge on Lake W*nnibigoshish in northern M*nnesota.  I'm going to start calling it a get-away, because there isn't a whole lot relaxing about it, at least for Sarah and me.  There's something about this trip that pushes every emotional button she has, resulting in the most controlling, difficult, downright belligerent, behavior she's capable of.  I feel as though I've spent a week with an alcoholic, constantly bracing myself for the next angry eruption. 

It's hard to say whether this year was better or worse than last year, although after she threw her plate across the table at lunch, my money's on 2011.  I had conveniently forgotten how rough things were in 2010 until the trouble started this year.  Upon reviewing my blog entry from last summer, it all came back to me -- Winnie and Sarah don't mix well.  Our smooth trip to Tennessee last month had given me the impression Sarah is a seasoned and secure traveler now, but I was sadly mistaken.

That's not to say we haven't had some fun.  I've got loads of photos that belie the volatile atmosphere.  The highlight for Sarah has definitely been the resort shih-tzu, Fluffy Muffin.  She fell in love with the little dog last summer and has talked about her ever since.  Fluffy joins Sarah in the B*rley stroller for our morning walks, and we go up to say goodnight each evening.  She even let Sarah walk her on a leash, which is quite out of character for the mild-mannered but independent pooch.  Sarah takes it hard when she sees FM consorting with another child, and I'm afraid it's going to be hard to say goodbye this year. 

We've had wonderful weather (upper 70s and sunny for the most part), which is a big improvement from last year.  Sarah and I have spent a lot of time at the beach, and she likes to wade in the water to fill a watering can, but she doesn't want to actually get wet.  She likes to watch other kids playing in the sand but refuses to join in when invited.  There's a 3 1/2-year-old girl staying in the cabin next to ours who keeps making overtures but has mainly been rebuffed.

Sarah enjoys being out in the boat and is a patient angler, for her age.  She caught her first fish this week -- a small perch.  Her response was textbook:  she panicked, shoved the pole into Don's hands, and ran to me for safety.  After the fish escaped the hook and was safely (for its own sake and for Sarah's) back in the water, she proudly proclaimed, "I caught a fish!" over and over.

Don has had some luck this week, so we'll bring home five meals of fish, in addition to the yummy one we had here.  He brought in a 34", 11-lb. northern pike, the biggest fish he's caught in about 15 years, but of course it was too big to keep.  I caught a 19" walleye, which is notable only because I'm not known for my angling prowess, or even interest.  We were all out on the water Sunday night as the sun set and the full moon rose, pelicans soared past, and loons called -- it was postcard-perfect Northwoods.

About 3:00 a.m. last night, a strong thunderstorm moved through, with 70 MPH winds.  The lake was encircled by lightning, revealing large rolling waves.  Thunder growled all around.  Leaves and twigs pelted the cabin.  I worried about the dead limbs on the oak tree beside our cabin.  This morning, we discovered a larger oak was toppled across the road about 100 yards away.  I'm glad we weren't camping at our old remote site.

Today we're packing up, and we'll head home first thing tomorrow morning.  I wish I could say I'm sad to see our vacation end, but I'm not.  I'm ready to return to our structured, secure routine and to have Sarah happy and relaxed again.  The reality is that we have more fun together at home than we do anywhere else.  I guess that's not such a bad thing, really.

Ready to go, Mom!

Nice bluegill, Dad!

Sarah and Cadi fishing

The serious angler

Returning to shore at night

Okay, I caught a fish, now can I put the pole away?

Tickling the ivories in the lodge

Trying to get the hang of making a sand castle

Watering the beach

The view from our cabin

Sarah using her Sesame Street app on the iPad before dinner

The head camp cook

Showing off the anklet she made

With her BFF Fluffy Muffin

In front of the carved eagle on the lodge front porch

Goofy

Go fast, Daddy!

Ready for bed

Making felt cupcakes

In Mom's seat in the boat



Sarah and Fluffy out for a walk

Three-year Checkup

Last week, Sarah had her three-year checkup.  I'm happy to report that doctor's visits have become fairly routine and even somewhat enjoyable for her (there's a potty book in the examination room that she loves).  It helps that she no longer has to get undressed and lie on the baby scale.  She happily steps onto the floor scale and obediently backs up to the wall to be measured.  She is now 38" tall (72nd percentile) and 34 lbs., 6 oz. (81st percentile).  I found it interesting that they also calculated her body mass index (BMI), which is 17 (80th percentile).  The doctor declared her healthy and height-weight proportional.

I asked the pediatrician about having Sarah see a specialist for her exotropia (the optometrist we saw in January suggested we come back in 6-9 months).  She recommended seeing an opthalmologist and scheduled an appointment in September with the same one Sarah saw in late 2009 (a nightmarish visit involving two rounds of drops, each of which sent Sarah into hysterics, and our refusing a third).  As you can imagine, I'm anxious about this, but I guess we'll see how it goes.  She's come a long way from the scared little girl she was almost two years ago, so maybe it will be fine.

Another Failed Date Night...or Not

This post was supposed to be about what a wonderful date Don and I had last night -- going to a movie for the first time in more than two years, with dinner after at our favorite restaurant -- and how far Sarah has come in terms of being away from us.  Ironically, it is not about the former, but all about the latter.

Everything looked good as we left the house.  Sarah was happily showing her babysitter Emma the new toys she got for her birthday.  She barely looked up as I said goodbye.  I was excited to be returning to a ritual Don and I had enjoyed monthly before Sarah's arrival.

Half an hour later, we were settled into our seats in a near-empty theater (it was 4:00, after all), waiting to see Crazy, Stupid, Love, a movie neither of us had high expectations for but were willing to take a chance on, since it marked a milestone in our personal life.  I had finally finished grumbling about paying more than $5 for a medium Diet C*ke, and the previews had just begun, when I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket.  I saw that it was Emma, shoved the over-priced soda into Don's hands, and rushed out of the theater, slamming into an aisle seat on the way out (ouch!).

Truth be told, I wasn't surprised to get a call.  Sarah woke up at 5:00 a.m. yesterday and didn't take a nap.  It was under those same circumstances that we had an aborted date last fall with our previous babysitter.  I had been a little afraid that we were marked for failure this time, too.  As it turned out, though,
Sarah was fine; it was Emma who was hurting.  She had fallen ill and thrown up, and her mom had come to help her. 

A vision of Sarah frozen in fear flashed through my mind.  She's not comfortable with new people even when Don and I are home, so I figured she would be really anxious about facing an intruder alone.  I told Emma we'd be home right away.  She said her dad was coming to take her home, but her mom would be happy to stay with Sarah.  I asked to speak with Sarah, but she wouldn't take the phone.  My impulse was to rush right home, but since I tend to over-react, I decided to consult Don.  I told Emma I'd call her right back.

I pulled Don out of the theater and gave him the scoop.  He said, "It's not fair to Emma's mom to take up her evening."  I hadn't even considered that; I was just focused on my fragile little girl.  I called Emma back, told her we were on our way, and asked her to stay there until we got home. 

As we got on the highway, my phone rang again.  It was Emma's mom Patty.  Emma had left with her dad (my heart leapt!), and Patty and Sarah were playing in Sarah's room.  She said Sarah was having a wonderful time showing her Big Dog and the other stuffed animals and making words with her foam letters (the little show-off).  She reiterated that she'd be happy to stay with Sarah so we could continue our date.

There was no turning back by then, however.  We continued home and found Sarah still happily playing with her new friend Patty.  Cadi the Labrador had even joined in the fun and was racing around the living room with one of Big Dog's shoes.  There was no sign of anxiety whatsoever.  Patty encouraged us to go back out and enjoy ourselves, but that ship had sailed.  We thanked her and sent her home to her sick daughter.

As the three of us sat down to dinner (the frozen pizza was a poor substitute for the wood-fired version I was expecting), I was still a bit shell-shocked by the turn of events.  I had anticipated this night for weeks (more like years), and it sure didn't turn out as planned.  That's not to say it didn't turn out well, however. 

Sarah, once so rigid and anxious, had shown great flexibility and grace under the unexpected circumstances.  She's not the same girl she was even a few months ago.  Since spring, she has become progressively less controlling and more self-confident.  She goes to bed happily and sleeps soundly most nights.  It seems she's embracing the idea that she is safe in the world, and it's a beautiful thing to watch.  I'll take that over Crazy, Stupid, Love anyday.

Two Years as a Family

Then...

...and now.

The pictures say it all, don't they?

If It's Sarah's Birthday, We Must Be on the Road

Sarah turned 3 last Monday, and, once again, she spent hours strapped into her carseat on her birthday.  It's just the way things have worked out with the China family reunion the last two years.  Fortunately, the reunion have changed for next year, so we'll be home all day.

She woke to a couple of presents in the hotel room, then had her birthday breakfast downstairs.

Card first....

The first gift was a Chinese doll, whom Mom suggested naming Lulu after Sarah's Chinese name (Lu Yi).  We'll see if it sticks.

Then there was Mrs. Potato Head.

Mom thought a sugar donut would be a fun birthday treat, but Sarah wasn't impressed and ate only a couple of bites.

After a few hours on the road, we stopped at a beautiful town park in Bl**mington, Wisconsin, for lunch.  Sarah tried out her first human-powered (Daddy, in this case) merry-go-round and seesaw.

Whooooaaaaaa....  (Her ribbon says "It's My B-D.")

My grandmother had an awesome seesaw that could be adjusted to accommodate different-sized riders.  Alas, this one couldn't.

A chocolate milkshake after lunch

We got home mid-afternoon, and Sarah had lots of cards and a package in the mail.  She had a ball opening them all.  There's nothing like getting mail!



Opening a package from Grammy

Showing the stickers she got in Grammy's card and the $3 she got in Grandma and Grandpa's card

Because we were traveling, a homemade cake was out of the question.  Dad ran to the grocery store and got a little smiley face one, which seemed satisfactory to the birthday girl.

After cake, it was more presents -- one more from Mom and Dad and some my mom sent out with my sister a couple of weeks ago.

She loves the Melissa & Doug clock and toolbox. 

Later in the week, she received gifts from her big sisters.  Emily, Omar, and Sophia sent a Melissa & Doug Magnetic Responsibility Chart, which I knew she would enjoy, given her penchant for accomplishment.  Rachel gave her a vt*ch Kid*zoom digital camera, and she LOVES it.  She's gotten really good at taking photos in the few days that she's had it.  And she can maneuver all the buttons like a pro.

I'll have to admit, I'm happy to leave the 2s behind.  People have told me that 3 is even worse, but I'm sticking with my contention that Sarah was efficient and got most of her defiance out last year.  She has been much easier to get along with the last couple of months and more even-keeled.  We don't see many hysterics anymore, and she abides by my wishes much more often.  She goes to bed happily now, and usually sleeps soundly for 10-11 hours, which is a dream-come-true. 

The new challenge that appeared right around her birthday is back-talk.  She likes to tell us, "Don't say that!" and "Go away!"  I've put the "Show Respect" magnet on the responsibility chart, and it's the only one she hasn't gotten a magnet for.  :/

Jiangxi Jewels Reunion 2011

Last week was the second reunion of our China travel group.  Hard to believe!  We met in M*rfreesboro, Tennessee, where one of the families lives.  It was a 14-hour drive, so we split it into two days.  Sarah did wonderfully in the car -- a huge improvement from last summer.  She loved playing a Ses*me Street app on my iPad and making felt cupcakes (talk about opposite ends of the tech spectrum) and took a nap after lunch each day.  She was impressed by the huge windmills we passed in Illinois and said, "Look at the "Y"s, Mama!" (she adds "Mama" to almost all of her sentences these days, and I LOVE it).

We spent the first night in D*nville, IL,  and had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, and the staff was quite interested in Sarah.  One young Chinese woman commented, "She looks like she could be Asian," in a joking manner and seemed surprised when I said Sarah was Chinese.  A few minutes later, she was back at our table asking questions.  In fact, she quizzed us more about the adoption than anyone we've come across so far.  I have the impression that the average Chinese citizen isn't familiar with the international adoption program.  When we left, she proclaimed Sarah "a lucky girl" (which we heard frequently in China), and I, of course, begged to differ...we are the lucky ones.

Sarah and Dad check out the cable TV, which we don't have at home

We passed through N*shville Thursday afternoon during rush hour in a thunderstorm.  I was glad Don was driving!  After settling in at the Emb*ssy Suites (I love that chain!), we met the six other families downstairs to eat pizza and get reacquainted.  Sarah was shy, of course, but she lit up when she saw her friend Ava, one of Mia's big sisters.  They have a special bond (although all the girls love Ava, Sophia, and Bella).  She wasn't quite as friendly with Grace's big brother Grant, who tends to overwhelm her with his well meaning attentions.

Friday morning, all the moms got together to chat, while the dads entertained the girls.  It was great to swap tales, both good and bad, and share advice.  We all agreed that we were very lucky to get this particular group of girls, as they are exceptional (just ask us) and have presented few challenges (if you don't count strong wills).

Friday afternoon, we were treated to a cookout at Madeline and Andy's home.  Sarah still stuck close to Ava, as did Grace, and I caught glimpses of competition between the two, which was rather sweet but also tugged at my heartstrings.  Sarah and Grace are the oldest of the girls who have attended the reunions, and they seem to have similar temperaments.  I wonder if they'll become close as the years go by.

Georgette (organizer-extraordinaire) brought lots of crafts to keep the kids busy, and Sarah and I had fun creating, while socializing with the moms and kids.  The bounce house/water slide in the backyard was a hit with the older kids and the more daring toddlers (Mia and Allie are fearless!), but Sarah wanted nothing to do with it.  I finally persuaded her to test out the front step, and she had a ball jumping up and down while I held her hands (a great workout for my triceps).

Ava, Sarah, Mia, and Grace

Getting crafty

Grant moving in on Sarah again!

Who needs a whole house?

Saturday, we headed for the N*shville Zoo, despite the sweltering heat.  We were impressed!  It was shady, and the enclosures were spacious and natural-looking.  Sarah spotted the carousel right away and made a bee-line for it.  She also worked up the courage to let lorakeets drink nectar from a little cup she held.  The highlight of my day was the white Bengal tiger -- so striking. 

Since we didn't bring a stroller, we were worn out by lunch time (she from walking and we from carrying her off and on) and headed back to the hotel.  After eating, we all lay down to rest, and Sarah chatted herself to sleep, as I drifted in and out of consciousness while answering her non-stop questions.

Look closely, and you can see the gorgeous white tiger

How do you spell "exhausted"?

Before heading to our closing dinner at an Asian restaurant next door, we had a group photo session in the lobby.  Georgette had sewn matching outfits for the girls, and they all looked adorable (even poor Jaden who was feeling a bit theatrical).

Our Jiangxi Jewels

The whole gang

Dinner at F*lin's Asian Cuisine (it's not wise to keep seven toddlers waiting for dinner)

After breakfast together Sunday morning, we headed our separate ways for another year.  Fortunately, Facebook and email make it easy to keep in touch between our face-to-face fun.

[Sarah really enjoyed the hotel, with its beautiful lobby and glass elevators. Whenever we were out for a drive, she'd ask, "Where my hotel, Mama?" and look for the solitary building with the big "E" on it. When we were looking for a place to spend the night on the way home Sunday, she said, "I don't want my new-tel, Mama; I want my old-tel."]

Dressed for travel

Hugging Jaden goodbye

Don and I adopted Sarah because we wanted a daughter. We didn't realize we would also gain a wonderful, new, extended family -- a group of kind and generous people who have enriched our lives greatly. I look foward to growing closer to these folks, seeing their kids (both adopted and biological) grow, and watching friendships among the China girls blossom.