Everything looked good as we left the house. Sarah was happily showing her babysitter Emma the new toys she got for her birthday. She barely looked up as I said goodbye. I was excited to be returning to a ritual Don and I had enjoyed monthly before Sarah's arrival.
Half an hour later, we were settled into our seats in a near-empty theater (it was 4:00, after all), waiting to see Crazy, Stupid, Love, a movie neither of us had high expectations for but were willing to take a chance on, since it marked a milestone in our personal life. I had finally finished grumbling about paying more than $5 for a medium Diet C*ke, and the previews had just begun, when I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I saw that it was Emma, shoved the over-priced soda into Don's hands, and rushed out of the theater, slamming into an aisle seat on the way out (ouch!).
Truth be told, I wasn't surprised to get a call. Sarah woke up at 5:00 a.m. yesterday and didn't take a nap. It was under those same circumstances that we had an aborted date last fall with our previous babysitter. I had been a little afraid that we were marked for failure this time, too. As it turned out, though,
Sarah was fine; it was Emma who was hurting. She had fallen ill and thrown up, and her mom had come to help her.
A vision of Sarah frozen in fear flashed through my mind. She's not comfortable with new people even when Don and I are home, so I figured she would be really anxious about facing an intruder alone. I told Emma we'd be home right away. She said her dad was coming to take her home, but her mom would be happy to stay with Sarah. I asked to speak with Sarah, but she wouldn't take the phone. My impulse was to rush right home, but since I tend to over-react, I decided to consult Don. I told Emma I'd call her right back.
I pulled Don out of the theater and gave him the scoop. He said, "It's not fair to Emma's mom to take up her evening." I hadn't even considered that; I was just focused on my fragile little girl. I called Emma back, told her we were on our way, and asked her to stay there until we got home.
As we got on the highway, my phone rang again. It was Emma's mom Patty. Emma had left with her dad (my heart leapt!), and Patty and Sarah were playing in Sarah's room. She said Sarah was having a wonderful time showing her Big Dog and the other stuffed animals and making words with her foam letters (the little show-off). She reiterated that she'd be happy to stay with Sarah so we could continue our date.
There was no turning back by then, however. We continued home and found Sarah still happily playing with her new friend Patty. Cadi the Labrador had even joined in the fun and was racing around the living room with one of Big Dog's shoes. There was no sign of anxiety whatsoever. Patty encouraged us to go back out and enjoy ourselves, but that ship had sailed. We thanked her and sent her home to her sick daughter.
As the three of us sat down to dinner (the frozen pizza was a poor substitute for the wood-fired version I was expecting), I was still a bit shell-shocked by the turn of events. I had anticipated this night for weeks (more like years), and it sure didn't turn out as planned. That's not to say it didn't turn out well, however.
Sarah, once so rigid and anxious, had shown great flexibility and grace under the unexpected circumstances. She's not the same girl she was even a few months ago. Since spring, she has become progressively less controlling and more self-confident. She goes to bed happily and sleeps soundly most nights. It seems she's embracing the idea that she is safe in the world, and it's a beautiful thing to watch. I'll take that over Crazy, Stupid, Love anyday.
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