The Remarkable Red Thread

More than three years ago, soon after our paperwork went to China, a woman tried to create a network of families with children from China in our area.  There were about 10 families who either had children or were waiting to adopt, and they got together for a picnic.  We had another engagement and couldn't go, but I was excited that there would be an opportunity for Sarah to socialize with other Chinese girls when she arrived.

That was the last I heard from the group.  Apparently, people were too busy or weren't motivated to continue.  Sunday, I decided to send an email to the list of folks who had been involved to see if anyone has a daughter around Sarah's age.  That evening, I got a message back from a woman who lives about 15 miles from us.  She and her husband are in China right now getting their one-year-old daughter, who happens to be from the same province as Sarah!  What wonderful luck (or is it the Red Thread that Chinese lore says binds all those who are meant to be together?). 

Of course, it will probably be after Christmas before this family is ready to get together, but it warms my heart to know that Sarah will have a little friend who has experienced the same thing she has.  There is such comfort in knowing someone who understands what you're going through, and I really hope for that for her.

Sarah's Crawling!

And she did it after possibly her worst night of sleep ever...which means it was one of my worst nights of sleep...which means I was back in bed when she did it. Arghh!! She was kind enough to stage a repeat performance once I was up, however.

Good Signs

I've been teaching Sarah to sign.  I started with "more" in China, but it was hard to do when I was holding her while feeding.  I tried again a couple of weeks ago when she was in the highchair, and she picked it up right away.  Since then, she's learned "milk," "eat," "Daddy," "dog," and "all done."  She doesn't have perfect form yet, but she gets her message across.  She enjoys being able to communicate and looks to me often to see if I'm going to show her a sign.  We've been watching a signing DVD every day (her only "screen time"), and she loves it.

Sleep continues to be a challenge, but we've made some progress.  She wakes throughout the night, but she's starting to soothe herself back to sleep.  Last night, I didn't have to get up at all, just reassured her from across the room.  She also sleeps more peacefully; I don't see the grimaces and whimpering I used to.  She fights going to sleep, but she lets me rock her much longer and doesn't immediately reach for the crib after her bottle.

If we're going to have a problem, I'll take sleep over attachment.  We've been very lucky there.  From the beginning, Sarah has gone to both of us willingly and protested when we're out of sight.  She has always made good eye contact and now holds a gaze for almost as long as I can.  Many adoptees have learned that the only people they can count on are themselves and act independently of their adoptive parents at first.  We knew we had an advantage when we learned that Sarah was in foster care, and she has obviously transferred her trust from her foster mom to us.  She's become very affectionate, giving us kisses and hugs.  She is a sweet, happy little girl.

Although I have loved her from the day we met and she accepted me from the start, it's only been the last couple of days that I've started to feel "in sync" with her.  She smiles and gives me a kiss every morning when she wakes.  She asks for a goodnight kiss when I lay her down at night, and she lets me "sway" her back to sleep in the night.  She relaxes into my body when I hold her and pats me on the back.  Whereas biological mothers and children have nine months to get know each other even before birth, adoptive moms and kids start out as strangers.  Like a new couple, they test the waters and gradually develop confidence that they can meet each others' needs.  It's such a good feeling to know that Sarah and I are on our way.

We went to a nearby state park for a hike on Wednesday (it's wonderful to have such flexibility).  Sarah rode in the backpack for the first time and loved it.  She wanted me to hike up front, though, so she could keep an eye on me. :)

A Shower and a Scooter

My good friend Jenny gave me a baby shower on Sunday.  Dell, Rachel, and Emily were all sweet enough to drive almost three hours (from different directions) to attend.  It was lovely...an afternoon with warm women, good food, and gifts -- what more could I ask for? 

Sarah received lots of beautiful clothes, toys, and books.  We're going to have to ramp up our social life so that she can wear all of her darling outfits.  Otherwise, the animals are going to have to get used to one gussied-up farm girl (why do visions of Eva Gabor come to mind?). 

Don watched both Sarah and her niece Sophia for the afternoon, all the while keeping track of a football game (who says he doesn't still use his management skills in retirement?).  Grandma Dell and Big Sister Rachel spent the night at our house, and Sarah had a ball entertaining them with her endearing expressions and exclamations. 

Sarah continues to learn new skills.  This week, she started scooting around on her butt.  The occupational therapist wouldn't approve, but it works for her.  She can really cover ground by pumping her legs and moving like a jellyfish across the floor.  She's also getting good at standing while holding onto something and is trying to pull herself up.

I'll close with a photo I just love....

Catching Up

The last week has been a busy one...so much to report!  Sarah has met lots of family and had more interactions with medical personnel.  She enjoyed the former and still hates the latter (maybe even moreso now).

Last Thursday, we drove to the Twin Cities to visit Grandma and Grandpa Hultman for the first time.  Sarah managed to tolerate the car seat for the nearly three-hour trip, with a lot of help from Mom.  She started out singing, but that lasted only 45 minutes.  The rest of the trip, I struggled to keep her occupied with music, her Gloworm, teething biscuits, and an apple.  She's a tough audience.

Despite running on little rest, she was a charmer.  She played on the floor with Grandma for a long time, tossing measuring spoons back and forth.  Grandma is now one of her favorite playmates!

We spent the night at a hotel and went to the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota on Friday morning.  Sarah was fairly patient with the nice doctor but still let it be known that she wasn't enjoying herself.  She was proclaimed healthy as a horse (is that a medical term?) and a big girl.  She's 23.5 lbs. and 31.5"  She's in the 97th percentile for height!  I guess she takes after the Hultman side of the family.

She played on the floor with an occupational therapist for a while to test her fine and gross motor skills.  She got extra credit for "checking in" with Mom before trying something new.  It's a good sign of attachment that she looks to me to make sure everything's okay when she's confronted with the unfamiliar.  As we knew, she is delayed a bit in her motor development (picking things up with her thumb and forefinger, crawling, standing), so we were assigned homework.  Luckily, it includes some new toys!

Then it was time for the blood-draw.  I knew it would be bad, but I had no idea.  I held her while the technician tried first one arm, then, when the needle slipped out, the other hand.  Sarah screamed for about 20 minutes straight, soaking herself in tears and sweat.  I couldn't see her face, but Don said later he thought she was going to pass out.  She continued to cry when it was over and finally fell asleep in my arms, still sobbing every few minutes.  Amazingly, she awoke about 30 minutes later fully reset -- bright-eyed and cheerful.  Talk about resilient....

After the appointment, we headed to Big Sister Rachel's apartment for lunch.  Sarah met Rachel briefly at the airport when we arrived home, but this was the first prolonged (albeit too-short) visit.  Rachel's boyfriend Matt joined us, and Sarah was back to her sweet self.  She was fascinated by Rachel's long hair, and Rachel was a good sport about all the tugging.

On the drive back, she finally gave in and slept in the car seat.  She really had no choice; she was exhausted.  When we arrived, I brought her to the sunroom, and she immediately started playing with her toys.  She seemed genuinely happy to be HOME, which, of course, touched my heart deeply. 

On Saturday, Big Sister Emily, Omar, and 16-month-old Sophia came to visit.  Sophia spent the night with us, while Omar and Emily went to a wedding in Minnesota.  We were eager to see how she and Sarah would interact.  Well, they didn't much, because Sophia has mastered walking and is on the move constantly.  She didn't have a lot of time for her younger aunt.  :)  They did enjoy sitting side-by-side in their highchairs and passing things back and forth.

Monday, I took Sarah to our local clinic to have her TB test read.  The minute the nurse touched her arm, she erupted in tears.  I can hardly wait for her 15-month shots....

Happy Belated Birthday!

Since we missed Sarah's first birthday (July 25) by a week, we decided to celebrate it last night.  We had cupcakes, and she received a little Asian baby doll.  She loved both!  She was so sweet with the doll.  As soon as she held it, she gave it a kiss and motioned for me to pat it, the way I do her.  She did this over and over, with a big smile on her face.  It warmed my heart.

This morning, we took Sarah to church for the first time.  She did great, charming everyone around us.  She even made it through the whole service (including communion).  Everyone was so happy to finally meet her.

Next Time the Works!

Sarah had her hair cut for the first time today.  My hairdresser Connie did a wonderful job.  She was so patient and low-key with Sarah, respecting her space and doing everything she could to put her at ease.  She just took some length off the back, but it looks so cute!  Sarah was skeptical about the whole thing, but she never cried.  She was rather fascinated with the decor of the salon and watching the women getting their hair done.  Next time, she'll probably ask for a shampoo and blowdry!