Showing posts with label Chinese culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese culture. Show all posts
Monday, September 17, 2012
Chinese School
With all the drama surrounding 4K, I failed to mention that Sarah also started Chinese School last Saturday afternoon (I go with her, so there are no separation issues). On the first day, the teacher asked her to go to the board to write a character. I was so surprised when she pushed her chair back, walked briskly to the board, and copied it -- nothing to it! She enjoys her homework and is very serious about it. I'm sure she will be tutoring me in no time.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Happy Year of the Dragon!
Gong Xi Fa Cai! Saturday night was our local Chinese association's New Year celebration. Sarah was shy to begin with, as usual, but she warmed up after dinner and played a fishing game to win a prize (one of those toys that you blow in and the end unfurls). This year, she eagerly anticipated the distribution of the red envelopes, which contain dollar bills, to the kids. By the time the music and dancing started, she was ready to stay all night.
We look forward to this event each year, as there's always lots of yummy food and fun activities. Mostly, though, we love the warmth of the people. It always reminds me of the tender attention we received in China whenever we were in public. The women, in particular, fawn over Sarah. We are so fortunate to have this "China family" close to home.
We look forward to this event each year, as there's always lots of yummy food and fun activities. Mostly, though, we love the warmth of the people. It always reminds me of the tender attention we received in China whenever we were in public. The women, in particular, fawn over Sarah. We are so fortunate to have this "China family" close to home.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Bringing in the Year of the Rabbit
Last night, we attended our local Chinese Association's New Year celebration. It was a potluck in an old dance hall, and it was even more fun than last year's event (which took place at a high school and was catered). I was apprehensive about how it would go, since Sarah has been boycotting naps again the last few days, but she was a perfect angel. We are blessed that she has never caused a scene in public, despite her demonstrations of will at home (knock wood!).
Because I really want to get to know our fellow association members, I boldly suggested that people wear name tags at the event. Before I knew it, I was taking tickets and welcoming people, with Don and Sarah providing moral support. The idea wasn't embraced by everyone, and it didn't go exactly as I'd envisioned. I foolishly thought people would write their names in Pinyin, the romanized version of Chinese that I can read, but many wrote them in Chinese characters, which was no help at all (for me, at least). Can you say "naive"?
Each family had to bring two dishes, and the food was abundant and fantastic. I wasn't about to try to cook anything Chinese (although I hope someday to have the courage to do so), so my bean salad sat bashfully among the homemade dumplings, noodles, ribs, spring rolls, and kung pao chicken. My chocolate chip cookies disappeared, though!
This year's event included a white elephant exchange, which added some fun and mayhem. When it was Sarah's turn to either open a gift or take one from someone else, a teenage boy eagerly offered her the wind-up Tigger toy that he'd been saddled with, and she agreed. She played with it on the floor for the remainder of the swapping, and fortunately, no one dared (or desired) to take it from her.
The only downside was a much-reduced entertainment portion. Last year, there was an elaborate stage show of all ages singing and dancing in the school auditorium. This year, a young boy performed a dance routine to "Ghost Busters," another gave a violin solo, and a teenage girl did ballet to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," while many partiers continued to socialize. The performers had heart, though.
After the distribution of the "hong bao" (red envelopes with dollar bills) to the kids under 12, the adults started singing Karaoke, and Sarah began dancing, even though no one else was. She's really good at shaking her booty. It was adorable, but unfortunately, it was also time to go. Sarah has a knack for warming up just when it's time to leave.
I am thankful for this group of people and their warmth toward us. Although the New Year celebration is nowhere near as large or elaborate as those you find in large cities, I value the intimacy and casualness of it. Along with the smaller celebrations held throughout the year, it gives us a chance to get to know individuals in the Chinese community. There are at least two kids Sarah's age whom we see each time, and I hope they will become friends as time goes on. A number of the women have taken an interest in Sarah, and I hope she'll be able to establish relationships with them. I want her to feel connected to her culture. Don and I can't do that alone, but maybe these kind people can help.
(You'll notice in the photos that Sarah has developed a cheesy smile for the camera.)
Because I really want to get to know our fellow association members, I boldly suggested that people wear name tags at the event. Before I knew it, I was taking tickets and welcoming people, with Don and Sarah providing moral support. The idea wasn't embraced by everyone, and it didn't go exactly as I'd envisioned. I foolishly thought people would write their names in Pinyin, the romanized version of Chinese that I can read, but many wrote them in Chinese characters, which was no help at all (for me, at least). Can you say "naive"?
Each family had to bring two dishes, and the food was abundant and fantastic. I wasn't about to try to cook anything Chinese (although I hope someday to have the courage to do so), so my bean salad sat bashfully among the homemade dumplings, noodles, ribs, spring rolls, and kung pao chicken. My chocolate chip cookies disappeared, though!
This year's event included a white elephant exchange, which added some fun and mayhem. When it was Sarah's turn to either open a gift or take one from someone else, a teenage boy eagerly offered her the wind-up Tigger toy that he'd been saddled with, and she agreed. She played with it on the floor for the remainder of the swapping, and fortunately, no one dared (or desired) to take it from her.
The only downside was a much-reduced entertainment portion. Last year, there was an elaborate stage show of all ages singing and dancing in the school auditorium. This year, a young boy performed a dance routine to "Ghost Busters," another gave a violin solo, and a teenage girl did ballet to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," while many partiers continued to socialize. The performers had heart, though.
After the distribution of the "hong bao" (red envelopes with dollar bills) to the kids under 12, the adults started singing Karaoke, and Sarah began dancing, even though no one else was. She's really good at shaking her booty. It was adorable, but unfortunately, it was also time to go. Sarah has a knack for warming up just when it's time to leave.
I am thankful for this group of people and their warmth toward us. Although the New Year celebration is nowhere near as large or elaborate as those you find in large cities, I value the intimacy and casualness of it. Along with the smaller celebrations held throughout the year, it gives us a chance to get to know individuals in the Chinese community. There are at least two kids Sarah's age whom we see each time, and I hope they will become friends as time goes on. A number of the women have taken an interest in Sarah, and I hope she'll be able to establish relationships with them. I want her to feel connected to her culture. Don and I can't do that alone, but maybe these kind people can help.
(You'll notice in the photos that Sarah has developed a cheesy smile for the camera.)
Epilogue: Sadly, Sarah had a rough night's sleep last night. She was sobbing in her sleep three times. I tried comforting her, but she continued with her eyes closed, making delicate gestures with her hands. It was hard to watch. I have no idea if it was related to the party itself (bringing back some unhappy memories?) or just to her being overtired.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Adopted, The Movie
Don and I watched Adopted, The Movie the other night. It's a documentary with two tracks: 1) a Korean adoptee in her early 30s who is struggling with her identity, and 2) an American couple who is adopting a baby from China.
The Korean woman's story was heart-wrenching. Jenny was adopted by her white parents in the 1970s. South Korea was one of the first countries to establish an international adoption program. Most adoptive parents of that era listened to their hearts -- treating their children as if they were biological, avoiding the topic of adoption, and downplaying any differences. Unfortunately, it produced some adult adoptees, including Jenny, who feel resentful, insecure, and out-of-place, even in their own families.
Jenny is a successful college graduate (the first in her family) who, in all outward appearance, has her life together. Inside, though, she tries to come to grips with her story. She recounts the pain of growing up in a community where she was the only person of color and the victim of racist jokes. Wanting to be a good daughter, she held her feelings inside and took on a sunny, life-of-the-party, "pleaser" personality, masking her confusion and hurt. Even now, she speaks to her parents in baby talk.
Jenny finally reaches out to her adoptive parents for help and receives only defensiveness and anger. Although they did the best they knew how and she is only looking for some compassion and understanding, they can't seem to give it. To complicate matters, her mother is dying of brain cancer. It's painful to watch the story unfold, and the ending is anything but happy, although there is a glimmer of hope.
The film left me feeling somewhat selfish for adopting Sarah, which is ironic since many people think Don and I are some kind of saints for what we did. I'm not saying it was wrong to bring Sarah to the U.S. and give her a better life than she probably would have had in China; I'm just saying that it was not a selfless act and it will affect her both positively and negatively in years to come. Because of our actions, she may never feel as though she completely belongs to any cultural group. It's our responsibility to do what we can to help her come to peace with her mixed identity.
I can understand how easy it would be to raise Sarah as if she were white, because when I look at her, I see only my daughter. Most of the time, it doesn't cross my mind that she is of a different race. I've heard that it isn't until kids reach preschool age that they become aware of racial differences. Sarah already realizes that we have different colored eyes and hair, though. When we look at the ABC book I made her, she now pauses at "F," points to her foster mom, then points to me and says, "Mama." It's confusing for her, but I know she's starting to put together the pieces of her story.
I'm thankful for the Korean adoptees like Jenny who are speaking out about their experiences and what they wish their adoptive parents had done to help them feel more at home in their own skin. I can learn from them and try to do better by Sarah. We need to celebrate our differences and incorporate Sarah's native culture into our lives. She may be the only one who's Chinese, but we are a transracial family, and we all need to embrace her birth culture.
Thankfully, we live in an area with a substantial Asian population (mostly Hmong), so Sarah doesn't stand out as much as she might elsewhere. She certainly tends to draw attention, though, which, although it's been only positive so far, is not necessarily comfortable for her or me. Believe it or not, sometimes I'd rather people didn't make such a big deal of how cute she is, and I think she might feel the same way at some point (if she doesn't already). As any celebrity will tell you, going unnoticed has its merits. I'm thankful for the local Chinese association that has welcomed us so warmly. I think it's good for all three of us to spend time in situations where Caucasians are the minority.
The scenes of the couple adopting from China were mostly fun to watch, since they brought back happy memories of our journey to Sarah. I found a few comments concerning, though, especially when juxtaposed with the Korean adoptee's feelings. For example, "She attached to [my husband] within the first three days, but it took more than a week for her to attach to me." Attachment is a long process, requiring a year or more. She likely meant "bonded," which is a much weaker connection. Perhaps she's unclear on the distinction because she "got a few books on attachment -- read most of one and skimmed the others." It's alarming to see someone so unprepared in this day and age, when the importance of attachment is well-understood.
Seeing this film would be a great way to celebrate National Adoption Month (which happens to be November). It will open your eyes to the challenges transracial families face and the effects on the adoptee. I'm not saying the bad outweighs the good, just that it is there and should be acknowledged and addressed.
The Korean woman's story was heart-wrenching. Jenny was adopted by her white parents in the 1970s. South Korea was one of the first countries to establish an international adoption program. Most adoptive parents of that era listened to their hearts -- treating their children as if they were biological, avoiding the topic of adoption, and downplaying any differences. Unfortunately, it produced some adult adoptees, including Jenny, who feel resentful, insecure, and out-of-place, even in their own families.
Jenny is a successful college graduate (the first in her family) who, in all outward appearance, has her life together. Inside, though, she tries to come to grips with her story. She recounts the pain of growing up in a community where she was the only person of color and the victim of racist jokes. Wanting to be a good daughter, she held her feelings inside and took on a sunny, life-of-the-party, "pleaser" personality, masking her confusion and hurt. Even now, she speaks to her parents in baby talk.
Jenny finally reaches out to her adoptive parents for help and receives only defensiveness and anger. Although they did the best they knew how and she is only looking for some compassion and understanding, they can't seem to give it. To complicate matters, her mother is dying of brain cancer. It's painful to watch the story unfold, and the ending is anything but happy, although there is a glimmer of hope.
The film left me feeling somewhat selfish for adopting Sarah, which is ironic since many people think Don and I are some kind of saints for what we did. I'm not saying it was wrong to bring Sarah to the U.S. and give her a better life than she probably would have had in China; I'm just saying that it was not a selfless act and it will affect her both positively and negatively in years to come. Because of our actions, she may never feel as though she completely belongs to any cultural group. It's our responsibility to do what we can to help her come to peace with her mixed identity.
I can understand how easy it would be to raise Sarah as if she were white, because when I look at her, I see only my daughter. Most of the time, it doesn't cross my mind that she is of a different race. I've heard that it isn't until kids reach preschool age that they become aware of racial differences. Sarah already realizes that we have different colored eyes and hair, though. When we look at the ABC book I made her, she now pauses at "F," points to her foster mom, then points to me and says, "Mama." It's confusing for her, but I know she's starting to put together the pieces of her story.
I'm thankful for the Korean adoptees like Jenny who are speaking out about their experiences and what they wish their adoptive parents had done to help them feel more at home in their own skin. I can learn from them and try to do better by Sarah. We need to celebrate our differences and incorporate Sarah's native culture into our lives. She may be the only one who's Chinese, but we are a transracial family, and we all need to embrace her birth culture.
Thankfully, we live in an area with a substantial Asian population (mostly Hmong), so Sarah doesn't stand out as much as she might elsewhere. She certainly tends to draw attention, though, which, although it's been only positive so far, is not necessarily comfortable for her or me. Believe it or not, sometimes I'd rather people didn't make such a big deal of how cute she is, and I think she might feel the same way at some point (if she doesn't already). As any celebrity will tell you, going unnoticed has its merits. I'm thankful for the local Chinese association that has welcomed us so warmly. I think it's good for all three of us to spend time in situations where Caucasians are the minority.
The scenes of the couple adopting from China were mostly fun to watch, since they brought back happy memories of our journey to Sarah. I found a few comments concerning, though, especially when juxtaposed with the Korean adoptee's feelings. For example, "She attached to [my husband] within the first three days, but it took more than a week for her to attach to me." Attachment is a long process, requiring a year or more. She likely meant "bonded," which is a much weaker connection. Perhaps she's unclear on the distinction because she "got a few books on attachment -- read most of one and skimmed the others." It's alarming to see someone so unprepared in this day and age, when the importance of attachment is well-understood.
Seeing this film would be a great way to celebrate National Adoption Month (which happens to be November). It will open your eyes to the challenges transracial families face and the effects on the adoptee. I'm not saying the bad outweighs the good, just that it is there and should be acknowledged and addressed.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Our First Mid-Autumn Moon Festival
This past week was the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival, a holiday celebrated in many Asian countries, including China. It is held on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar, which was Sept. 22 this year. It is considered by some to be similar to our American Thanksgiving. Families gather for picnics under the full moon, eat moon cakes (round pastries with dense, rich fillings and intricate designs on top), and send wishes up to the moon.
Sarah and I celebrated last Sunday with our local Chinese Association. Don was visiting his parents in the Twin Cities, so he couldn't make it. Unfortunately, Sarah awoke at 5:15 Sunday morning, so she really needed a nap before we went. Much of the food was gone by the time we arrived at about 2:45, but we did get to eat mooncake. Ours had a Chinese date filling and was really yummy. Traditionally, mooncakes have a salted egg yolk in them. I was happy to miss out on that!
Normally, I would have been quite uncomfortable walking in late to a gathering of people I don't know. I've found Chinese people to be so friendly, though, that I wasn't uneasy at all. Our friend Wendy, whom we met at the local Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve, was watching for us and came right up to welcome us and introduce us to others, including her mom. Everyone wanted to meet Sarah (of course), and they all remarked on how beautiful she is (and such big eyes!). We were guided to the buffet table, then shown a seat and served mooncake. Many of the local Chinese teach at the University of Wisconsin in La Cr*sse, and one nice man talked with us while we ate.
Sarah was pretty shy to begin with, but she warmed up as she ate. We both enjoyed watching people sing Karaoke to Chinese songs (played very loudly, I might add). There was some dancing, but things were winding down by the time we got there. Wendy was such a gracious hostess, though, giving Sarah colored pencils and paper to draw while everyone was cleaning up.
We officially joined the group last weekend, and I was surprised to learn that we're the only China-adoptive family that are members. There are quite a few such families in the area, but I get the sense most aren't that interested in participating in Chinese activities.
I'm really excited to do more with the group. Their warmth and enthusiasm is remarkable, and I hope to learn a lot from them, while Sarah gets to know people from her native country. Next month, there is a celebration of the Double 9th Festival, which honors the elderly, combined with Wendy's mom's 70th birthday party. Fortunately, the Vikings play late that afternoon, so Don doesn't have a scheduling conflict. :)
Sarah and I celebrated last Sunday with our local Chinese Association. Don was visiting his parents in the Twin Cities, so he couldn't make it. Unfortunately, Sarah awoke at 5:15 Sunday morning, so she really needed a nap before we went. Much of the food was gone by the time we arrived at about 2:45, but we did get to eat mooncake. Ours had a Chinese date filling and was really yummy. Traditionally, mooncakes have a salted egg yolk in them. I was happy to miss out on that!
Normally, I would have been quite uncomfortable walking in late to a gathering of people I don't know. I've found Chinese people to be so friendly, though, that I wasn't uneasy at all. Our friend Wendy, whom we met at the local Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve, was watching for us and came right up to welcome us and introduce us to others, including her mom. Everyone wanted to meet Sarah (of course), and they all remarked on how beautiful she is (and such big eyes!). We were guided to the buffet table, then shown a seat and served mooncake. Many of the local Chinese teach at the University of Wisconsin in La Cr*sse, and one nice man talked with us while we ate.
Sarah was pretty shy to begin with, but she warmed up as she ate. We both enjoyed watching people sing Karaoke to Chinese songs (played very loudly, I might add). There was some dancing, but things were winding down by the time we got there. Wendy was such a gracious hostess, though, giving Sarah colored pencils and paper to draw while everyone was cleaning up.
We officially joined the group last weekend, and I was surprised to learn that we're the only China-adoptive family that are members. There are quite a few such families in the area, but I get the sense most aren't that interested in participating in Chinese activities.
I'm really excited to do more with the group. Their warmth and enthusiasm is remarkable, and I hope to learn a lot from them, while Sarah gets to know people from her native country. Next month, there is a celebration of the Double 9th Festival, which honors the elderly, combined with Wendy's mom's 70th birthday party. Fortunately, the Vikings play late that afternoon, so Don doesn't have a scheduling conflict. :)
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