A Girl and Her Donkeys

A Big Weekend

The last few days have been busy for us, with events both big and small worth mentioning.

First, Don and I continued our new ritual of playing chess on Friday evenings.  Instead of sitting in front of the TV and flipping between our three public television and two old movie channels (no cable), we now nurture our middle-aged noggins with a game that he loves but hasn't played in decades and I attempted in high school but never mastered.  This was our second week, and I awarded myself "Most Improved" since I was able to survive a full hour before he captured my king.

Saturday morning, we attended our first E*ster egg h*nt of the year.  Unfortunately, the balmy weather we enjoyed a couple of weeks ago was long gone, and hats and mittens were the order of the day.  Sarah was super excited and had a blast.  She was still in the 0-3 age group, so she had a distinct advantage this year.  After collecting about a dozen, she decided to leave the rest for the other kids.  She was pleased with her haul of T**tsie rolls, chocolate eggs, and a tattoo.  When we got home, she rushed to the bathroom to apply the tattoo all by herself.

Saturday was also "Date Night" for Mom and Dad.  Sarah adores her babysitter and was at least as excited as we were.  I decided it was time to try having Kelsey put Sarah to bed.  I wasn't optimistic it would work, but I figured we had to start somewhere, and just having her ready for bed when we returned would be nice.

Don and I weren't enthused about our movie options but decided to give The H*nger G*mes a try, since it's gotten so much hype.  We figured, if nothing else, we'd be up on pop culture for a week or so.  We were pleasantly surprised and really enjoyed the movie, despite its dark premise.  The largely teenaged audience must have liked it, as well, as they were silent throughout.

After dinner at our favorite pizza place, we headed home to see how the big experiment had gone.  When the house appeared dark as we approached, I figured Sarah had kept Kelsey reading books in her room, which is on the back side of the house.  When we entered, however, Kelsey was sitting quietly in the living room, and Sarah was sound asleep!  Kelsey said she turned out the lights, and Sarah didn't make a peep.  That girl is full of surprises these days.

I feel as though a whole new world has opened to us.  We can actually stay out later than 8:00 if we want.  Not that we're night owls or social butterflies, but we do get invited to a party every year or so, and now we can stay as long as we want.  The upside for Kelsey is that she no longer has to entertain Sarah for five or six hours when we go out.  We can do "dinner and a movie" in that order, and Kelsey can spend half her shift relaxing.  The icing on the cake is that Kelsey just got her driver's license, so we don't even have to drive her home.  As long as she can make time for us once a month, we've got it made.

As if one milestone wasn't enough, Sarah had another surprise in store Sunday morning in church.  During the service, the minister spends a few minutes talking with the kids in the front of the church.  Sarah has always insisted that I come with her and sit in the front row, while she sits on the step with the other kids.  Yesterday, when the time came, she turned to me and said, "Mom, some day I'll just go up and see Pastor Betsy by myself, and you can sit with Daddy."  I said, "Do you want to try it today?" and she said, "Okay" and trotted down the aisle. 

As luck would have it, since it was P*lm Sunday, there more kids in church than usual, and Sarah couldn't find a place to sit when she got up front.  She ran back to me and said, "Where do I sit?"  I escorted her back up, got her situated, and decided to stay, just in case she lost her nerve.  Instead of listening to the minister, she spent the whole time telling me, in a stage whisper, to go back to my seat.  Once she sets her mind to something.... 

Watching Sarah march away from me was one of my proudest moments so far.  It's taken so long for her to feel safe in the world, and I am elated for her.  I'm not alone.  During coffee time, the minister and other members of the congregation shared their joy, as well (Sarah has a broad fan base).  I no longer fear 4K this fall.  It will be a big step, but I feel confident now that Sarah will be able to handle it just as every other four-year-old does.  What a relief.

After lunch, Sarah decided to take a nap during quiet time (her act of bravery wore her out).  When she got up, she was ready to help Mom and Dad spread bark mulch on the flower gardens.  She is such a hard worker!

All in all, a banner weekend for our little family.  This week holds an Easter party with our playgroup, another egg hunt, and the Big Day itself.  Next week, Sarah and I head to M*ssachusetts to visit my family.  The winter doldrums are definitely behind us!

Keeping Up with Sarah (It's Not Easy)

Sarah has changed so much in the last few months, and I've been delinquent in chronicling it.  It's time to try to catch up....

Her confidence has grown tremendously.  When we're out and about, she now responds when people ask her questions, and sometimes even initiates conversations.  She is comfortable staying in one spot while I go to the other side of the room.  She's happy to stay in Sunday School without me, and the teacher says she raises her hand and answers questions.  This may not sound impressive for most kids her age, but it's monumental progress for Sarah.

She's become much more physical and loves to jump, dance, kick, and run.  She's tall and slim and quite athletic -- it's hard to believe she was a chubby baby who couldn't sit up when she arrived home.  She can kick her foot as high as her head (I call her my little Rockette) and do the splits.  She's been practicing drop-kicking a ball and manages to do it sometimes.  She loves to dance to "Mom's music" (Ad*le's 21).  One of her favorite activities is hiking with Mom and Dad at our local state park.  She is constantly saying, "Mom, watch this" and showing me her physical prowess.

Her language is developing rapidly.  I've been encouraging her to pronounce words more clearly (she often skips the "s" at the beginning and has a hard time with "th"), and she now corrects herself.  She loves to figure out what letter words start with ("Mom, what letter does egg start with?"  "I don't know, Sarah, what do you think?"  "E -- egg, elephant, Elmo.").  Like all kids her age, she comes up with some cute stuff:

• "A little bit, but not too much." 
• "Oh, my goodness, that's a big ice cream cone!" 
• "I made Mommy and Daddy's bed -- I'm a big helper."
• While looking at a map of Wisconsin: "Where does home live again?"
• When bored: "What I should do, Mom?"
• Snuggling in bed with Mom and Dad: "I'm all cozy with my family."
• "I love this outfit -- it's almost pink, but it's not almost pink."
• "I'm not tired. I will take a nap, but I won't close my eyes."
• "This is a crazy lunch!"
• "Mom, your music is pretty cool." (I'll remind her of this one when she's a teenager.)
• At bedtime: Mom -- "Good night, sweet girl." Sarah -- "Good night, sweet woman."
• Playing in her kitchen:  "I will make something delicious for you."
• "It's nice to meet you, Mom."
• "...if'n you want...."
• "Okay by me."

Sarah loves Mother Goose and has most of the rhymes memorized (she recites them as she falls asleep).  Her favorite story books these days are If You Give a M**se a M*ffin, the Biscuit series, and a set of very old S*same Street books we borrow from the library that talk about different careers (she says she wants to be a police officer, a firefighter, and a veterinarian when she grows up).  She also enjoys reading natural history field guides (including N*rth D*kota Plants, a highly technical dichotomous key) and dictionaries (see below). 

Temperament-wise, she is pretty easy-going these days (downright laid-back compared to a year ago).  She still wants her way, but many times she will acquiesce, ending the discussion with, "Okay, fine."  She's become a bit sassy, which Dad has more patience for than Mom (no surprise there), but, for the most part, she's a joy to be around.  She loves to cuddle and gives great, smacky kisses.  She is conscientious and polite.

She gave up naps almost a year ago, but we've continued with quiet time after lunch.  It took a little getting used to, but now she trots down the hall happily and spends an hour in her room, usually listening to music on her boombox or looking through books (she loves the family picture books I make on Sh*tterfly).  Very rarely, she will crawl into bed on her own and fall asleep.

Sarah has always been one for routine, and she's developed her own unusual rituals.  After she gets ready for bed in the bathroom each night, we return to her room, where I sit in the rocker and she climbs up on her bed. She then calls Dad to say goodnight. When he appears in the doorway, she jumps from bed and does an original dance/martial arts routine over to kiss him goodnight. She then repeats it over to me and crawls into my lap for a story. She comes up with something new every night.

Sarah watches S*same Street downstairs in the rec room each morning.  She spreads out the fleece blanket on the couch and arranges two dictionaries she carted down from upstairs (a full-size W*bster's and a paperback crossword puzzle edition) in front of her.  She then pages through the books while watching her S*same Street friends.  Every day, she acts exasperated when she sees that Mom and Dad messed up her stuff the night before.

With all the warm weather we've had, the plants outside are growing like crazy, including, of course, dandelions.  I introduced Sarah to dandelion digging last year, but she was still a little young to be of much help.  This year, she's an able and enthusiastic assistant, pulling the plants I pry from the ground, throwing them in the bucket, and stomping the loose soil back into the ground.  Every afternoon, she asks to dig dandelions, and she would keep at it for hours, I think, if I didn't call it quits when my hands get tired.  And I thought I was compulsive.

I think that's Sarah in a nutshell for now.  She has come so far in the last two-and-a-half years.  As I remind her when I turn out the lights each night, she is my precious little girl.  I'm such a lucky mommy.  Here are some recent random shots:

An impromptu nap

Playing on the iPad before dinner with Sophie looking on

Modeling the new sweater that Mom made (big enough to last a while this time, I think)

A basket of sweetness

My little gypsy

Reading an Aud*bon bird book while her pedicure dries

Sarah's Machine

Sarah started the new year with a cold and nasty nighttime cough.  The cold lasted a few days, and the cough subsided after a couple of weeks, but it never went away.  For weeks after, she would wake multiple times a night coughing and choking.  I'd give her honey, and a few times, I took her into the bathroom and ran the shower to soothe her throat.  After six weeks of interrupted sleep for all, I called the pediatrician's office.  The nurse said it was a common afliction this year and to give it some more time. 

Finally, in mid-March, when she was still having at least one spell a night, I took her in.  Her regular doctor was on vacation, so we saw a physician's assistant.  Her lungs and ears were clear, but he could see some irritation in her nose that looked like a sign of allergies. 

Two days later, we saw a pediatric allergist.  He couldn't see distinct signs of allergies and thought that the cough might be caused by some residual spasming in her upper respiratory tract.  He suggested testing for allergies, just to be sure.

Luckily, Sarah has conquered her fear of doctors, for the most part.  She's reached the point where she's more interested in the process of being examined than frightened of the caregivers.  When the technician arrived with a marker and a rack of tiny vials, she was intrigued.  She sat calmly as the woman marked the places on her arm then innoculated her with various allergens.  A few minutes later, she looked as though she'd been the victim of some S*tanic ritual.

The testing showed she is allergic to grasses, but that wouldn't be a problem during the winter.  The allergist said he could prescribe a short course of steroids to calm the cough but he thought it would go away in a couple of weeks.  I chose to wait.

A couple of weeks later, the cough was still around, so we tried Pr*dnisone for five days.  The house was quiet on the second night, for the first time in months.  Third and fourth nights, same story.  On the fifth night, however, it returned.  The next day, Sarah had a runny nose and a cough, and the following night, she awoke with a 103.5 degree fever.  She has had a fever only a couple times since she's come home.  Decreased immunity is a side effect of being on oral steroids, however, so perhaps they allowed a virus into her system.

I brought Sarah to her regular pediatrician, who said her lungs still sounded clear.  The doctor had seen a lot of high fevers in kids lately, however, so she wanted to check for flu, even though Sarah had a flu shot.  She said she'd like to do a nose swab to test for flu.  It sounded harmless to me, so I agreed. 

I became concerned when two somber nurses arrived.  One told me to lay Sarah on her back and hold her hands.  "She's not going to like this," she said.  The other held Sarah's head while the first stuck a tiny-but-way-too-long Q-tip up her nose.  It was quick, but obviously very uncomfortable.  Sarah winced and squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears in.  I did my best to console her, while the nurse did the other nostril quickly.  Sarah lunged into my arms and melted into tears.  I felt like a traitor.  How I hate being a party to causing her pain.  (The test result was negative.)

As for the cough, the doctor suggested we try a nebulizer with Alb*terol and a corticost*roid for 30 days to try to calm down Sarah's upper respiratory tract.  She sent us home with a mini air compressor connected to a medicine cup by rubber tubing.  For the last two weeks, Sarah has had four 10-to-15-minute sessions a day on "her machine," as we call it.  Although she's pretty good about sitting and listening to me read books, and sometimes just looks at books by herself, it's a real pain.  My heart goes out to parents of small children with chronic health conditions who need frequent treatments.  Getting a three-year-old to sit still and cooperate is no picnic.

Fortunately, the regimen seems to be working.  The cough is gone, and we're all snoozing through the night.  I'm sleeping more soundly than I have in years, I swear.  I'd forgotten how it felt to wake out of a deep sleep in the morning.  But enough about me.  Sarah's got two more weeks of treatments, and I pray the cough doesn't return when she stops.  I'd hate to have her machine take up permanent residence in our house.

Eat, Laugh, Dance (AKA Rachel and Matt's Reception)

Last weekend, we traveled to the Tw*n Cities again for Rachel and Matt's wedding reception.  The nuptials took place Feb. 2, followed a couple of weeks later by the honeymoon cruise.  Now, it was time to party, and Sarah was ready.

The celebration was a potluck, with lots of yummy food provided by friends and family.  The entertainment was a local comedy improv group that Matt and Rachel have trained with, Karaoke, and board games provided on the tables.  If ever there was a wedding reception that reflected the tastes and values of the couple, this was it.  It was slightly unconventional and thoroughly enjoyable.

Sarah was fascinated by the comedy show and kept asking why the comics were doing the silly things they were.  Part-way through, she decided she just had to give Grandma a kiss and made her way carefully around the dance floor where they were performing, over to Grandma, and back.  She made repeated trips, which delighted Grandma and entertained some in the audience as much as the show did.

Sarah has come a long way in the nearly six months since Uncle George and Auntie Chelsey's wedding, where she refused to get out of her chair (and did her best to keep Mom and Dad in theirs).  As soon as the Karaoke started, she was up dancing, and she didn't stop until the music did (Mom was so proud!).  She hit the dance floor in style, wearing forty-five-year-old cowboy boots that first belonged to Mom, then cousin Kelley.  They still make a fashion statement.

Of course, Emily, Omar, and Sophia were there, and Reid flew in from C*lifornia for the event.  It was wonderful to spend time with them all.  Sarah enjoyed seeing her big brother and warmed up to him quickly, even though we don't get together often.  We met him for breakfast the next day, and she colored a picture, signed it, and gave it to him.  It was sweet.

Sarah and Mom were in dessert heaven.

C*medysp*rtz

Sarah and Dad watching the comedy show

Precious little granddaughter Sophia

My two cuties

Sarah and Grandma

Reid showing some of his advertising projects to Don and Sarah

The bride and her niece on the dance floor

Omar and Emily

Sarah enjoying the music

Mom/Grandma with daughter and granddaughter

Reid and his dad

Sophia attracts attention with her iP*d (they're watching cooking videos!)

My Two Envelope Enthusiasts

One of Sarah's favorite activities is "doing envelopes."  She spends some time each day writing little notes, putting them in envelopes, and decorating the envelopes with crayons and stickers.  She then presents them to Don and me so we can open them.  When asked what the notes say, she usually responds with something like, "Dear God, Mommy loves Sarah. Love, Grammy."

She has her "desk" (a shoebox), where she keeps the paper, stickers, envelopes, and a few odds and ends.  I save the return envelopes we get in junk mail to feed her habit.  The other night at dinner, her prayer was  "Thank you for giving us food, and thank you for taking care of us, and thank you for giving us envelopes."

The interesting thing is that "doing envelopes" runs in the family.  Don is known for the pretty flowers and flourishes he adds to the addresses of greeting cards.  In fact, when he was in the Service almost forty years ago, his fellow Marines would ask him to embellish the envelopes they were sending to their girlfriends.  A Leatherneck with heart, he was -- Ooh Rah!

Y4K?

W*sconsin offers Kindergarten for four-year-olds (4K), and last Monday was the open house at Sarah's school.  All of sudden, it seems like just around the corner that she'll be getting on the bus and heading off to school.  A couple of months ago, I never could have pictured it, but she's gained a lot of confidence since Christmas, and I think she'll be ready when the time comes.

After staying with her in Sunday School since September, I'm finally able to leave after a few minutes and wait for her in the community room.  I tried it a couple of weeks ago, and afterwards, she proclaimed, "Let's do it again next week!"  Okay!  The irony is that, now I have to overcome my own discomfort with walking into the near-empty community room and sitting down to chat with people I don't know well (Don heads home after coffee time and comes back to get us after Sunday School).  So, we're both growing.

After talking excitedly about school for the last year or so, as we pulled into the parking lot Monday, Sarah asked doubtfully, "Mom, why I want to go to school?"  When we got to the classroom, she shyly said "Hello" to her teacher, gripping my finger.  I walked her around the room.  When we came to the carpet where the kids sit for story time, I pointed out the different colored shapes on the floor and asked her, "Which one do you think you'll like to sit on?"  Big mistake.  She plopped herself down on the purple oval and wouldn't budge. 

Pretty soon, she got Dad to sit beside her and wouldn't let him get up (I've played this game before and wouldn't get drawn in).  I explored the play stations scattered around the room and tried to entice her to check them out.  She refused for a while but finally could resist the hamster no longer.  She gradually moved on to other things, and it was tough to pull her away an hour later. 

4K is half-day, Monday through Thursday.  We'll find out in June whether Sarah will be in the morning or afternoon session.  While I had thought morning would work better for us, I'm now hoping for afternoon.  I knew that one bus comes into our neighborhood for all the kids from 4K through high school in the morning, then the 4K kids have their own little bus bring them home before lunch.  I thought the situation was reversed in the afternoon, but we learned that the 4Kers have their own bus both ways then.  I don't like the idea of Sarah getting on the bus with teenagers.  That just seems too intimidating.  I think she (and I) would do better with a little bus.

Either way, morning or afternoon, I think Sarah will be ready to spread her wings and go off to do her own thing for a few hours a day by the end of summer.  I think she's somewhat outgrown staying home with Mom and Dad all day.  In the past month, she has blossomed, sharing more complex thoughts (and sentences) and becoming much more physical -- dancing, jumping, kicking, etc.  She's quite a character and actually talks with other adults when we're out.

I will be ready for her to fly, also.  Having a few hours a day to focus on getting things done will be a welcome change.  Right now, even though I'm fortunate to have Don home all the time and I get a mostly uninterrupted hour of quiet time after lunch, I feel as though I'm always trying to squeeze in a few more to-dos while Sarah wants my attention.  I look forward to focusing more on her while she's home and hearing about all the things she's learning when she gets back from school.  Half a day seems perfect.

I'm not expecting the transition to be easy, however.  I know there will be tears.  I hope they will be only mine, but I'm prepared for them to be hers, too.  I asked the teacher if I'd be allowed to sit in the back of the classroom for a few days if necessary, and she assured me I would, although she's never had a child who needed it.  I'm sure she thinks I'm a helicopter mom, but I know Sarah, and new situations are tough for her.  I don't want to push her and have to spend weeks working our way back to her comfort zone.  Been there; done that; don't care to repeat it.

There's a case in the school lobby with adorable little live finches.

Glued to the purple oval

Sarah and her teacher

Checking out the hamster with her teacher

Dad finally pursuaded Sarah to let him sit in a (tiny) chair instead of on the carpet.

Making a chain

Relaxing some (just when it's time to leave)