What a Mouthful!

In the last week or so, Sarah seems to have finally turned her attention to talking.  She's saying more words and is deliberate about putting them together.  I now hear "Mama play" all day long.  On Sunday, as she and I waited in the car outside a convenience store, she observed, "Dada buy milk." -- her first sentence with a subject, verb, and object. 

Of course, just last week I was getting concerned about her language skills again and scheduled a visit from the county's Birth-to-3 program coordinator.  She's coming next week, with a speech therapist.  I'm curious now what they'll say.  I know Sarah hasn't caught up to most two-and-a-half-year-olds, but she's making strides all of a sudden. 

I wonder if it was all the social interaction she had over the holidays that spurred her speech.  Or maybe it's watching Sesame Street every morning while Mom walks on the treadmill, which we started in early December.  We were careful to keep her away from the TV until she turned two, but now I think it may be helping her. 

It's also possible that she just wasn't ready.  Sarah is careful and thoughtful about everything she does, so it wouldn't surprise me if she was just taking her time.  Whatever the reason, I'm so excited to hear more of what she has to say!

A Trip to the Eye Doctor

A few months ago, we started seeing Sarah's eyes go out of alignment at times.  I first noticed it when she played peek-a-boo around a door frame.  When she moved her head out to see, the last eye to appear would be pointing out.  It's happening more frequently, and in other situations, lately, so we brought her in for a check-up (even though Don was convinced she just had a special talent).  Since I was born with a lazy eye and have suffered with poor vision in that eye despite surgery at age 2 and wearing a patch, I wasn't going to take any chances.

I was dreading the visit, after the nightmare we experienced more than a year ago.  That time, they put drops in her eyes twice, sending her into hysteria both times.  When they wanted to do it a third time because her eyes are so dark and hard to dilate, we said, "No."  The doctor was able to get a quick look into her pupils, enough to rule out any disease, and that was it.  We were out of there.

To my immense surprise and relief, this time was completely different.  Sarah was slightly nervous about being there, but she didn't even flinch when the drops went in (as we learned on the day we became a family, she can be very brave).  We had a different doctor, who obviously is more in tune with kids than the last one, and she seemed intrigued by what he was doing.  He showed her a short video of a mechanical chicken, dog, and elephant, and she kept requesting to see it again.  She even gamely looked into the machine that measures your prescription and, with much coaxing, was able to look at the balloon long enough to get accurate readings.

While she was a model patient, the results of her exam were less than stellar.  She has intermittent exotropia, which means the muscles controlling her eyes are unequal in strength, causing them to turn out if she doesn't work at holding them straight.  If she's tired or not concentrating, they slip to the outside.  As she gets older and does more focused work with her eyes, she won't be able to override the muscles as easily, and it will happen more often.  At that point, she'll need surgery on the muscles.

The good news is that this condition doesn't usually affect the vision in the eyes, so she won't have a weak one the way I do.  The thought of surgery scares me, but, after doing some research on the Internet, I'm not as worried.  It should be outpatient and done through a small slit in the eyeball, so it's not too invasive.  Thank goodness Sarah has gotten over most of her fear of doctors.  By the time the surgery takes place, she should be even more calm.  We need to watch her, and when we notice her eyes turning one-third of the time or more, it's time to take action.

The other disappointing news is that Sarah will likely be near-sighted when she's older.  It has something to do with the depth of her eyeball.  I guess it's a certain depth now, and it will deepen as she grows, which will cause near-sightedness.  I'm almost more saddened by this news than the prospect of surgery.  I had hoped she'd avoid having to wear glasses.  I always hated mine.  It's only been in the last few years that I've felt comfortable with how I look in them.  She's such a beautiful girl that I dread seeing her face hidden behind frames.  Obviously, these are my own issues, and I won't share them with Sarah.  I also know that there are some very cute frames available these days, and she will be adorable regardless.  This is a small thing.

It's ironic that Sarah has a condition similar to one I was born with (they're two types of strabismus) and will likely be near-sighted like her father.  Because she lacks our genes, it's natural to expect her to be free from our physical imperfections.  The fact that she shares some of our weaknesses, while unfortunate, tends to reinforce our sense of family, however.  It's evidence of the invisible red thread that the Chinese believe connects those who belong together.  We were meant to be a family, flaws and all.

Christmas 2010 -- Phase II

We flew back to M*ssachusetts to visit my family very early (6:20 a.m. flight) last Wednesday.  Following some excellent advice from my fellow China moms, I dressed Sarah in footie pajamas the night before, got her up at the last minute, handed her her milk, and loaded her in the car.  She was a good sport about it and requested "Jingle Bells" on the drive to the airport.

We're lucky to live 20 minutes from a small (two gates) airport, so flying is a cinch.  Don dropped Sarah and me off at the front door with the luggage, then parked the car.  To save on what I consider unreasonable baggage fees, we'd packed one very large suitcase to check.  Imagine my disappointment when we learned that it was seven pounds overweight and would cost us $90 extra.  Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be cheap. 

The woman at the counter suggested we move some things to our carry-on bags, and we set about the task, knowing it was futile.  After about five minutes, the woman's coworker walked over, said, "That looks about right," put the baggage tag on the suitcase, and pointed us toward the security station.  I don't know if it was the cute little girl in her pajamas watching from her stroller as her parents scrambled on the floor or just Midwest hospitality that motivated him, but I was happy to hang on to my $90.

Sarah did great on the airplane and seemed to enjoy sitting in the window seat while I catered to her.  We changed planes in D*troit, and she slept most of the way to H*rtford, CT.  She was excited to see Grammy pull up to the curb to pick us up. 

Auntie Heather, Uncle Brian, and cousins Forrest, Sam, and Kelley came for a visit later that afternoon, and Sarah warmed up to them all quickly.  We were fortunate to see them every day of our stay.  Although we didn't get to spend as much time with Uncle George and his fiancee Chelsey, Sarah also enjoyed herself with them.  For the first little while whenever she's with relatives she doesn't see often (which happens to be all of them), she points, looks at Mama or Dada, and says, "Eh?" as if she can't believe they're really there.

She was much more relaxed this time than during previous visits.  It was a joy to watch her play with her cousins and give hugs and kisses to everybody.  She even happily posed for pictures, which is unusual.  She loved it when Uncle Brian kept finding coins behind her ears (as only he can do), and she was interested in whatever the boys were doing.  After Auntie Heather told her to sit on her "bum" in a chair, Sarah adopted the new term and now corrects me when I say "bottom."

On New Year's Eve, we enjoyed a lobster dinner.  Sarah didn't care to try it, but Cousin Kelley indulged a bit too much.  He wound up on the couch with a stomach ache, and Sarah appointed herself his doctor.  She tended to him with great concern until he recovered.  She's one compassionate little girl.

While she was happy and even-keeled during the day, Sarah's anxiety surfaced each evening.  Getting ready for bed was a minefield, with multiple fits about brushing teeth, taking a bath, and going potty.  It was obvious that she felt uneasy about being away from home and was struggling to be in control.  She slept fairly well at night (especially after Dada moved to the other bedroom and she got to sleep with Mama instead of in the Pack 'n Play), and she even took naps most days.

In addition to seeing my immediate family, we got to have lunch with my Uncle Bill and Jane.  I'm afraid I didn't get to talk with them as much as I'd like, since I escorted Sarah to the restroom no less than four times as a result of her drinking milk on the way there and downing a cup of apple juice within minutes of being seated.  She managed to maintain her potty-going throughout most of the trip, which I found impressive. 

I also slipped away on my own to have coffee with my best friend from high school, Lynne.  It was wonderful to see her after many years, and for the first time as fellow adoptive moms.  I wish it could happen more often!

Our return flight on Monday was also early.  When I woke Sarah, telling her it was time to go on the airplane, she sat straight up and said, "Mama home, Dada  home, Cadi Dog home, Little Bear home, Vava home...." and proceeded to list each of her stuffed animals.  She was clearly ready to go.  The trip was smooth, and when we picked up Cadi at the kennel, Sarah beamed.  She let out a hoot when she saw our house from the highway.  She loves her little world in W*sconsin.

Although she's happy to be home, Sarah has struggled a bit with the transition.  She went to bed well Monday night and was asleep within minutes, due to missing her nap.  She awoke crying once in the night and wanted me to lie with her while she went back to sleep but then waited until 6:00 (house rule) to call for me in the morning.  She started out cheery but didn't want to get dressed and ended up in a screaming fit about her milk (which hadn't even spilled -- haha) soon after leaving the bedroom.

She had a good nap yesterday but was unhappy at bedtime, maybe because Don was at a meeting and couldn't kiss her goodnight.  After calling to me in the kitchen for a while, she started to cry and asked me to lie with her.  She was asleep in about five minutes.

This morning, she slept until 6:45.  When I went in, she pointed to herself and announced, "Happy."  She then said, "Mama happy; Dada happy; Cadi Dog happy; home."  She does indeed seem more content today, so I think we're on our way back to normal.

Sarah's made great strides in dealing with different places and people, but I expect she'll always be troubled by changes in her surroundings.  The last week-and-a-half has been awfully busy, and I think she's done terrifically overall.  We're all looking forward to staying put for a while and cocooning, though.  We all love our home.

Cousin Kelley

Uncle B

Cousin Forrest

Watching TV with Sam and Kelley

Reading with Cousin Sam

Exploring the farm with Kelley

Cutting fruit with Chelsey

All smiles with Grammy

Auntie Heather ("Heshy")

Lobsters for dinner!

Christmas 2010 -- Phase I

The first part of our Christmas celebration is winding down.  The three of us were greeters at church for the first Christmas Eve service.  Sarah is quite good at shaking hands, but eye contact with strangers is a bit much for her.  We picked up Chinese take-out on the way home (one of my favorite new Christmas traditions).  We had a relaxing Christmas Day, and Emily, Omar, and Sophia arrived in time for dinner (Italian fisherman's stew, which may also become a tradition).  Rachel, her fiance Matt, and Reid came yesterday for our family celebration (and ham dinner) and will leave later today.  It's so fun to have a full house!

Now, it's time to prepare for Phase II.  We fly to Mass. very early Wednesday to spend five days with my family.  Can't wait to see them all and watch Sarah play with them!

A shot from a "formal" sitting at home the week before Christmas



And another....

Ready for church on Christmas Eve

Santa brought a train table...

...and, of course, filled Sarah's stocking

Opening presents Christmas morning

Don cooking Christmas dinner (such a good man!)

Sarah and her niece Sophia on their trusty Labrador

Dinner with the family the day after Christmas

Don and his big kids -- Rachel, Reid, and Emily

White Christmas Guaranteed

Last weekend, we had a whopper of a winter storm.  Over Saturday and Sunday, we got 20" of snow and had winds up to 45 MPH.  It started early Saturday morning, with heavy snow and cold temps.  We had planned to go cut our Christmas tree as a family, but Don ended up going alone because of the weather.  Fortunately, the tree farm is only a few miles away.  He was the only customer.  The old guys who run the place were surprised to see him (and I bet a little reluctant to come out of their warming tent).  He chose a balsam fir in record time (Don is not one to hem and haw about a decision).  It was a perfect day for tree-trimming. 

Since we're in the open, we had drifts up to four feet deep by Monday morning.  Don started chipping away at the driveway with our small snowblower.  Fortunately, the town front-end loader showed up soon and moved the five feet of snow the plow had placed at the end of the driveway.  By Tuesday morning, it was -24, and there was no question winter had arrived.

Two Christmas angels

The driveway pre-front-end loader

The mountain of snow that makes backing out tricky these days

Don was able to break the goats out of their stall.

The donkeys aren't so lucky -- they may be snow-bound 'til spring.  (I know what you're thinking -- why does anybody need five donkeys?  Well, it's obviously not a question of need.)

This Year's Christmas Card

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Some Good Sleep News

The last time I wrote about our slumber struggles, I was sleeping with Sarah most of the night and she was fighting naps.  I'm happy to report that I am now in my own bed most nights, and, after two straight weeks of no naps, Sarah has succombed yesterday and today (How else would I be able to write this?).  It's been a long, trying couple of weeks (a two-year-old that's been up for 8 hours is no fun, let alone 14), but I don't think we could have made the progress we have without that pain. 

Once Sarah decided not to nap, or even stay in bed to rest, I took advantage of her exhaustion at the end of the day and started putting her to bed and leaving the room instead of staying with her until she was asleep.  The advice I'd read said when the child gets up to lead her back to bed quietly and calmly; she'll do this a few times then give up because it's not any fun.  They don't know Sarah. 

The first night, I walked her back to her room 28 times before she finally lacked the strength to get back up and promptly passed out.  The second night, she made the trip 65 times before succombing.  I'm not kidding.  The third night, we were at 33 when I realized that she thought this was just a new way of going to bed -- walk until you collapse.  At that point, I put her in bed and told her if she got up again, I'd close the door.  She got up once more, and I held the doorknob.  I let her scream for a minute then put her back in bed and left.  She was asleep in about two minutes.

Since then, I've put her to bed and told her to stay there or I'll close the door.  She usually gets up once a night, but once the door gets closed, she gets the message and is snoozing in a few minutes.  It's pure bliss for Mom.  Since she now goes to bed alone, she has also remembered how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes at night.  I had to let her cry for a few minutes a couple of nights (after tucking her back in), but she now goes back to sleep on her own and I return to my bed.  Hallelujah! 

While no naps made the bedtime transition easier, it took a toll on all of us.  Sarah has been sleep-deprived and extremely difficult.  She wasn't sleeping any longer at night, so she was getting only 9-10 hours of sleep a day, when she should get about 13.  I scoured the Internet for ideas to help, but nothing worked.  I finally decided to try a sticker chart, since it was a big hit with potty training.

Sarah  doesn't respond that well to discipline (can you say, "stubborn"?), but she likes incentive programs.  When we started potty training a few weeks ago, we weren't having any luck getting her to poop in the potty, until we offered two M&Ms as a reward.  She now goes multiple times a day.  I swear she plans for the maximum candy haul.

For "Project Nap," I drew a chart made of 10 steps, like a staircase, and numbered the steps.  I bought some Elmo stickers (Sarah loves Elmo, although she has never watched him on TV -- what does that say about the power of marketing?) and told her she would get a sticker every day.  When she gets five stickers (five steps), she'll get a new can of Play-Doh.  Five more, another can, etc. 

My original plan was to get her to just stay in bed for a minute, then add to the time each day until she was lying down for 30 minutes.  I figured if she could lie still that long, she'd likely fall asleep.  That plan blew up in my face the first day, when she refused to stay in bed even for a second.  To say I was discouraged is an understatement.  She still wanted her sticker, though.  I don't think she understood the deal.

Back to the drawing board, and the Internet for more ideas.  Yesterday, I got into bed with Sarah and read books for a few minutes, then got her to lie down with me (even that was a struggle).  I sang our bedtime song (My Favorite Things) over and over while she thrashed around fighting sleep, as usual.  Finally, after 15 minutes, and who-knows-how-many refrains, she closed her eyes and was asleep soon after. 

When she got up 90 minutes later, I made a big deal out of giving her the sticker.  She was thrilled but then asked for the Play-Doh.  I explained that she needed to take four more naps and get four more stickers to get the Play-Doh.  She seemed to understand and proceeded to explain the whole deal to Dada when he came upstairs.

So, today we headed to bed, covered ourselves up with her comforter, and read some books.  When we were done, she balked a bit at lying down, but when I reminded her of the pay-off, she grabbed her stuffed dog and lay with me while I sang.  She was asleep in about five minutes!  I've learned not to proclaim victory too soon when it comes to Sarah, but, boy, am I hopeful.  Once she commits to something, there's little that can stop her.  My next challenge is getting her to sleep past 5:30 a.m....